CREDITS
Young George in a swimming pool just floating under the water
(VO) Deep down we all want to know if we are loved it's the fundemental
question, but when I was a kid the question was even more basic "Does anyone
even like me?" I'm sure there's all kinds of therories on how girl's get
over their insicurities and self doubts (a whistle is blown) but it takes a
pretty twisted mind to think that swim day is the answer (the camera comes
out of the water and there are other people in the water and standing by the
pool too) Thanks alot Mom!
(Joy and George come out of the changing rooms, Young George has her arm
bands on)
JOY: Come on. Hey, why don't you go say hi to your friends sweetie. Look
Georgia it's not going to kill you to make a friend
YOUNG GEORGE: It might
JOY: Fine, then let's go home
YOUNG GEORGE: I'm not wearing floaties (she takes them off)
JOY: But your a really bad...youre not a strong swimmer George
YOUNG GEORGE: I'd rather drown (she gives the floaties to her mom and walks
off to the group of girls that are standing by the pool - in the background
Joy is talking to a life guard)
(VO) When I was ten I learned one of life's most valuble lessons, no matter
how uncool you think there's someone enven less cool a pool's length away
(she looks over and there is a girl in her bathing suit, goggles and a swim
hat on waving to young George)
BETH: Hi George
and that was Beth-Ann Miller (the five girls start laughing at her)
YOUNG GEORGE: (under her breath) Oh shit
Camera change to outside a cafe where people are laughing and having a good
time, Geirge is sitting in her car looking in at them
(VO) Recently I have been thinking alot about crossing over but when you are
alive crossing over is even harder (the women see her staring and look back
at her - she drives off)
Transition
At the Lass houshold Reggie is loking at herself in the mirrow without her
glasses.
(VO) Much harder
Joy comes into the bedroom without knocking
JOY: So (Reggie quickly puts the mirror down and puts her glasses back on)Do
you wanna go shopping this afternoon?
REGGIE: What for?
JOY: A new sweater
REGGIE: Yeah, that ones pretty tragic
JOY: (pursed lips)I meant for you Reggie.
REGGIE: I have homework
JOY: You know other girls like you go to the mall, it's cool
REGGIE: (she snorts) stealing lip gloss and smoking behind the food court's
cool?
JOY: Fine Reggie, stay here and work on that attitude, it's pretty. I'll
call the sitter
(she walks out)
REGGIE: No (gets up and walks out the door too) I'll go
JOY: and what is so tragic about this sweater?
Transition at the poolside. One of the girl's from the group throws
something in the pool and a line of boys jump in. Young George is standing
there with her arms folded
GIRL: Go
Young George goes to the side of the pool as if to jump in. The girl is
looking superior at George
Fades into George with her head on Der Waffle Haus table peering through a
glass of water with coins at the bottom. the raises her nad and drops
another coin in. The camera pans round to see Mason and Daisy are looking at
the other people who have come in - they are facing the opposite way round
from George and Rube.
MASON: This is the crucial step the unsuspecting patron peruses his menu and
selects the options. Kiffany swings by she pretends not to notice him
thereby making him feel desperately foolish
DAISY: Castrated, limp and worthless
MASON: A right turd. Now she owns him, he's under her power. Observe
(he tries to get her attention, she walks straight passed him)
DAISY: Absolutely brutal
(Rube looks over and all he can see is Mason showing off his union Jack
pants)
MASON: If people think that you don't like them, they want it even more,
it's pathetic really, isn't it?
RUBE: Hey, Captain Asshole
MASON: Yeah
RUBE: this view is ruining a perfectly good breakfast
(they sit back round)
DAISY: I have you know men who have died for that veiw
MASON: Okay so that was today's lesson (German like accent)from Der Vaffle
house, with-hold the love and you gain the power
Rube looks onto the glass to see George
(his voice sound far way)
RUBE: Hey George, you wanna come out of the pool?
GEORGE: No I like it here, will resurface for food
(he picks up the post-itand shows it to her)
RUBE: You (puts the post-it down)
You (gives to Mason)
You (gives to Daisy)
MASON: Poools, I hate pools, I hate water I hate anything that makes
somebody blue
DAISY: Singing the blues, that's always nice
MASON: Drowning is a really really horrible way to die
DAISY: :sing:I'm blue:sing:
(Roxy comes in)
DAISY: :sing: I'm blue because of you :sing:
Roxy walks in
ROXY: You got the blond hair blue eyed blues again Daisy?
DAISY: Yeah
ROXY: Hit me Rube
RUBE: Nice to see you Roxy (hands her a post-it)Why don't you stay
awhile?(retracts it)
ROXY: I would but I don't want to (gives her the post-it)
MASON: Now Roxy here is a classic withholder, she inspires fear through
restraint
ROXY: I bring fear through my nine millimeter (shows off her gun) and my
penetrating gaze
MASON: Is that a Pepper spray on your fancy utility belt Roxy
ROXY: It is Mason, you wanna play wid it?
MASON: Yes (he's all excited - she gives him the spray)
ROXY: Youre so into pain
(he sprays it onto his food which makes George jump up)
ROXY: Actually, its not pepper, it's chemical
MASON: Yeah, right Roxy, what ever you say (he eats it)
GEORGE: Toxic chemicals
(Mason covers his mouth for the burning sensation in his mouth, he picks up
the glass with the money in it and takes a swig, but immediately spirts out
the water and it goes all over Kiffany. Everyone is shocked, he takes a acid
burnt sparkling coin from his mouth)
ROXY: You want to beat him senseless, nobody is going to be bothered if you
know what I'm saying
KIFFANY: That better not be my tip
MASON: No-oh
KIFFANY: I will put up with alot but I will not put up with that
(she pours some coffee)
MASON: I'm sorry Kifany, it's just that my eggs wern't exactly lovely this
morning
KIFFANY: Maybe you shouldn't have maced them (she walks away)
RUBE: Thanks Kiffany
MASON: See Rube, you have the power in that relationship, She loves you, she
hates me
RUBE: I tip two dollars on a seven dollar breakfast, It's not brain surgery
(George looks at her post-it)
GEORGE: This is in like five minutes
RUBE: Well maybe you should like get a move on
(she gets up and goes)
DAISY: You do that you know, you withhold the love
MASON: Yeah
RUBE: How can I withhold that which I do not posses. Eat your breakfast
Transition closing elevator door, doors opening and George is coming out of
the lift into the office of Happy Time
(VO) Most girls are late for work because they overslept or they missed
their bus, most girl's didn't have to spend thier morning watching a guy try
to repair his mower
camera change
A tractor up on breese blocks with a man underneath it fixing it. George
standing there waiting with the post-it in her hand
(VO)...successfully I might add (blood is splattered on her blue coat)
Change back to Happy Time where as she is walking down the cubicle aisle
people are staring
MILLIE: (to the people staring) Slurpy
The great thing about work is no matter how fucked up your personal life
is,(Delores waves to her and she waves back) your professional life can make
it seem normal (Millie throws her bag into her cubicle but someone is
sitting in her chair typing and the bag knocks him off the chair
MILLIE: (totally shocked) Oh ...shit sorry. Are you okay?
GUY: I think I'm going to be sick (is bent over)
MILLIE: No please don't
GUY: Anything to the head always makes me wanna throw up
MILLIE: How many blows to the head have you taken?
GUY: A lot in high school (he looks up) Oh god blood. Here comes the
macmuffin
MILLIE: It's a slurpy
GUY: Okay, I'm better. That was a close one.
MILLIE: Who are you?
GUY: (puts his hand out to be shook) Ethan information systems
(looks at him strangely, he puts his hand down) Computer geeks, fifth floor
MILLIE: You accessed my files?
ETHAN: Delores said it was okay. Ive been beaten up alot and I'm a bleeder
and that doesn't look like a slurpy
MILLIE: It's a cherry slurpy Ethan, chill the fuck out
ETHAN: Okay fine
(Delores comes over)
DELORES: I'm so sorry Millie(looks at her coat) Wooh
ETHAN: slurpy
DELORES: I wanted to be here to introduce you to Ethan but Andy in personel
has carpel tunnel in both hands (lowers her voice) can't even pee by
himself, anyhoo Ethan is one of the top dogs at IS he's here to help with
the nazi issue
MILLIE: What nazi issue? Who's a nazi?
ETHAN: Actually you are. but see there's a funny reason behind that, if you
find that sorta thing funny (looks sheepish)
DELORES: Ethan's a genius, humour him
ETHAN: (he starts working on the computer) see there this group in Oregon
and someone put a bot on your hard drive and theve been using your email to
mail out their um...literature?
MILLIE: To who?
ETHAN: To whom, butthat's cool everyone makes that mistake
MILLIE: Answer the question
ETHAN: Everyone in this like a million people in the country
MILLIE: Everyone thinks I'm a nazi?
ETHAN: Maybe, probably (whispers) Definitely
MILLIE: (she stands up on the chair)Excuse me everyone, can I have
everyone's attention?
(someone shouts out) whoo, take it off
MILIE: Oh shut up, you idiot (she takes off her coat)I'm not a nazi Duh,
what was it? (she hits Ethan)
ETHAN: A bot
(Ethan starts wretching)
MILLIE: A bot. err slurpy...thank ...you for your time (she quicky sits
down)My god this sucks!
DELORES: Millie this is nothing, you should have seen tha tattoos I've has
to have removed
MILLIE: I'm not a nazi
DELORES: not in here, I don't think any of us really is (Ethan nods to
Delores, she gives the a-okay sign and goes back to her cubicle)
ETHAN: So for what it's worth, I never thought you were a nazi
(she puts her hand up for Ethan to back off) so I guess I shouldn't have
been in your seat, that's like a huge corporate faux pas, breach of protocol
or something?
MILLIE: I'm not someone important
ETHAN: Tell that to the fifth floor, the other guys were insanely jealous I
got to work on your computer
MILLIE: Listen I have to sort through all these files
ETHAN: Everyone apart from finlkestein, when the nazi problem he took it
kind of hard
MILLIE: They have to be in the exact order, like now (she waves him off)
ETHAN: Actually, It's funny I reorganised your file structure
MILLIE: You did what? (Ethan clicks a button) Oh Wow!
ETHAN: There just there - just organised. Okay. Bye
MILLIE: Ethan? come here
ETHAN: I could totally help you
Transition
Ethan is in the photocopy room where he is photocopying and stapling papers
together. Millie comes over with a can in her hand
(VO) There are defininate perks to having smart guys around. I had to wonder
what good deed I had deserved this and then it dawned on me (flashback to
giving the hand to Ethan, flinging the bag at him, hitting him on the head
several times and shouting "Ethan") Maybe withholding affection does work a
certain (Milie sits down at her desk with Ethan pushing a trolly full of
papers. He comes into the cubicle)
MILLIE: Not so close
Transition flashback
George and the 5 girls and Beth-Ann miller who is standing by the pool.
George is walking up to Beth-Ann
(VO) Beth-Ann Miller and I wern't exactly the same but we wern't eactly
different. We both orbited that thin air light years away from the center of
the social universe. Okay fine we were geeks. But whatever it was that we
shared, well the ties that bind (the camera comes up to the back of
Beth-Ann's bow at the back that holds her costume up - a circle comes in to
highlight it) were a little loose that day
(she looks back at the girls - they encourage her to do something)
Transistion
Mason is at the swimming pool fully dressed trying to get into the pool area
POOL ATTENDANT: (smiking a cigar) Can I help you?
MASON: Yes I wanna, I don't know, swim?
POOL ATTENDANT: not like that youre not
MASON: I don't actually need to swim (waves the post-it around) I'm going to
the pool to, you know...
(points back to the changing rooms. he gives an exhasperated gasp and he
walks off)
Transition
Daisy walking into a waiting area, she looks around and sees a group of
ladies sitting. They give her the eye then go back to what they are doing
DAISY: Hi may I see the sign-in sheet?
RECEPTIONIST: There isn't one, do you want an apointment?
DAISY: Perhaps you could help me, I'm looking for a S Samuels
RECEPTIONIST:There is no Dr Samuels here
DAISY: (shouts over) Excuse me but is there an S Samuels here? You know
what, I think Id like a consultation
RECEPTIONIST: Can I get your name?
DAISY: Yes Daisy, Daisy Adair
RECEPTIONIST: Okay, fill this out please (she passes her a clipboard and
pen)What insurance do you carry?
SAISY: I have SAG
RECEPTIONIST: You have come to the right place
DAISY: (slight giggle)Screen Actors Guild - I'm an actress
(a lady in a white coat brings a glass of water for a patient who has a
bandage on her nose
Wow, is she going to be okay?
RECEPTIONIST: Fine, she's in the care of the doctors
(Daisy gies and sits down and the receptionist calles out "Miss Smith" and a
lady gets up and walks off)
DARK HAIRED WOMAN: It can't be the face(she looks at her breasts)
DAISY: No no these are just fine. "Do you love you" (she marks it) Yes "Do
you deserve to love you more" Well I can't see why not
Transition.
Mason comes out of the changing rooms in his underpants a towel and
sunshades and the post-it in his hand
MASON: (he takes off his glasses) Fuck me! It's a bunch of naked old men
(the pool attendant comes from the door still smoking his cigar) do you know
where a T Heller is?
POOL ATTENDANT: Oh Theo in the shallow end (the camera goes to the four men
in the pool)The one who's yakking away(a whistle blows)
MASON: euekk
(Mason walks over to the poolside)
THEO: So I'm with my son-in-law Mr sillicon valley himself, watching the
game
What game?
THEO: The game's not important the matter is Seahawks and he says to me "I
know why your picture's fuzzy"
picture's fuzzy?
THEO: Like the back of your balls. So Mr Silicon valley "I know the cables
no good here" he says the problem here is solar flares, Solar flares is
causing you cable to go out, solar flares is making a fuzzy picture
What do you say?
I say the reason the picture is fuzzy is I don't have cable you know-it-all
jack ass (they all laugh, Theo laughing the hardest - The camera goes under
the water to the grid where a graveling comes out and goes to the surface,
the camera pans back up and they are still laughing)
THEO: I'm diving
Taller Guy: jesus Theo enough with the diving, What would Betty say?
THEO: She would say "look at all the twigs and berries"
SHORTER BALD GUY: Ahh He just does it for the attention.
TALLER GUY: He shouldn't be diving, he's got the blood pressure of a jack
rabbit
Theo gets out of the pool and as he passes Mason Touches his harm and takes
his soul)
MASON: Hello (he looks down and see that he hasn't got any swimming trunks
on) Oh My Jesus (a young boy who is with his grandfather sees this - he is
shocked and scared)
MASON: I'm sorry (starts stammering) Your balls are huge
THEO: God save the Queen
TALLER GUY: Come on back youre scaring the children
THEO: Relax son they're just balls (he turns to his grandfather to comfort
him)
Transition
At the mall with Joy and Reggie:
JOY: So Reggie, Where do you want to start?
REGGIE: Can't you just meet me in twenty minutes?
JOY: One thing okay one thing we do together I'm not asking for the moon
REGGIE: You'll embarrass me
JOY: How will I embarrass you?
REGGIE: Your doing it right now. How much do I get to spend?
JOY: Nothing until I see it
REGGIE: Fine (she walks off into the shop)
JOY: Reggie? You look good in blue, it matches your eyes
REGGIE: I don't know you (she goes into the shop, Joy looks exhasperated)
Transition
Theo is on the diving board waiting for everyone to see him. He has a towel
wrapped around his shoulders. Mason is in the pool too watching with the
others
THEO: Oh boy, what would Betty say?
Tall Guy: Look at that, he doesn't want to be up there
Short guy: So how do we get him down?
we could wave and risk it
(the graveling is right by the board, it jumps up and pees on it)
Short: Why does he always pull these stunts?
Because some dat it will make a funny story
Someday, but not today
(he starts to walk to the edge)It's a bird, It's a plane - Oh Bah
Shiiiit!!!! (he slips, loses his foting and slams into the smaller board)
Tall: Holy shit
(Reflection in the water of Theo bouncing on the board with the towel
hanging down)
Theo's body is being taken away by paramedics
THEO: I didn't feel a thing
MASON: That's because I took your soul out before you hit the diving board
sir
THEO: So I'm dead? that's the situation?
MASON: Dead is the situation yore in I'm afraid and now we'll be moving on
THEO: So what's the deal? No-one can see me?
MASON: No-one can see you apart from me unfortunatley. I just cannot get
over the size of your testicles
THEO: Imagine that Betty. I got a gay angel
MASON: Errgg I'm not an angel - or gay
(Theo looks over to his freinds and see them laughing)
THEO: My freinds for 50 years, they don't don't look very sad
MASON: Ahh come on your death hasn't sunk in yet, It hasn't hit them as it
hit you
THEO: They are going to want to make some kind of plaque here at the pool.
Good freind graceful swimmer, not a good diver
MASON: I'm sure they will
THEO: It's going to be hardest on Marty, I mean this is going to be one
tough eulogy, you know what I'm saying
MASON: I'm sure your funeral will be lovely
THEO: I'm going to need to put on some clothes and a nice blue suit that
Betty's favourite
MASON: Ahh nice (looks puzzled then worried)What for your funeral no no no
you can't go to your own funeral
THEO: Look pal no-one ever told me how to live and I'm sure as hell not
going to start listening now. I'm going to my funeral, Ive been looking
forward to this for years
MASON: Oh bloody hell
Transition
Reggie in the clothes store looking at some clothes
ASSISTANT: God, can you imagine anyone wearing that crap, it's so slutty
REGGIE: Arn't you supposed to sell it?
ASSISTANT: (whispers over to her and beckons her over) Shhh...come on. I so
know what you mean but it's like you don't have to look like a hooker to get
noticed, right? What are you doing here anyway, this stuff is so not you
(Reggie looks down at herself) youre better than that, here look at me for a
sec (she takes a chair grip from her hair) This is Iroquois, your hair is
kinda like Indian except, well you know, lighter, (Reggie backs away as she
tries to put them in her hair) that was so presumptous of me
(Reggie shakes her head)
REGGIE: It's okay
ASSISTANT: You sure?
(she puts the clip in her hair)
JOY: Reggie, is everything okay?
ASSISTANT: I got her?
JOY: I'll meet you right here in 20 minutes. I gave birth of her to her so,
but you got her (under her breath) That's great
ASSISTANT: (laughs), my mom's like that too, hypoglycemic so she is totally
like Dr Jekyll and Mrs Hyde, I have to have triskets around and just shove
them in her mouth when she starts to wig out. So your name is Reggie?
(she nods)That'a pretty bad-ass name for a girl, can I show you something
really pretty?
Transition
Millie at the office walking to her cubicle
(VO) In a fair world, nice people would be liked, and mean people would be
disliked but that's not how the way things work (passes two guyswho a
screwing them up and throwing them over a cubicle, it just misses her, she
passes a worker)
DODGY HAIR: Err Millie, I was wondering if you could find me the ability
stats for Schwegman's supermarket
(looks at him as if to say "Why are you asking me")
DODGY HAIR: Never mind, I'll find them myself (she walks off)...keep up the
good work
(VO) In a fair world, behaving like a complete asshole would make you really
unpopular.
(footage of Adolf Hitler, Idi Armin and Mousollini and Donald Trump) but
this isn't a fair world and the assholes have followers and disciples and
assistants. Assholes are treated like kings (Millie back at the office
carrying some papers to her cubicle. Than is on her phone)
ETHAN: (whispers) She's back..like six inches away...smells kind of
citrusy(she tries to smell herself)...and like waffles, I have to go now (he
puts the phone down)
MILLIE: Personal call Ethan?
ETHAN: Sort of, some of the guys on the fifth floor had a couple of
questions about you
MILLIE: Like what?
ETHAN: Well my freind Seth, he's in data retrieval, Seth wanted to know what
your eyes looked up close, so I told him that...
MILLIE: They're brown
ETHAN: I said hazel (lowers his voice) and kind of angry
MILLIE: No more personal calls Ethan
ETHAN: Okay, sure, no problem
(VO) In a world where perfectly decent girls get brained by a cosmic space
shit and being accused of being nazi sympathisers, I was having trouble
turning the other cheek
Flash to the pool where young George is standing by the pool with the 5
girls laughing behind her, she reaches out to pull the big bow on Mary-ann's
costume
(VO) Being mean was much more fun, being mean was cool
She can't do it and the leader says "Your dead" and they all walk off in
disgust
(VO) and I was never very cool
Transition
Cosmetic surgery waiting room. A lady wals in and waves to the receptionist.
The Receptionist calls out for Mrs Benson and a lady gets up and leaves the
waiting area, the woman who has just come in sits down across from another
lady and next to a man with his legs crossed
WOMAN: Is that a smile Susan? I can't reach your face anymore, you've
botoxed it senseless
SUSAN: It's surprise Sarah, I didn't know till just now that the human body
could withstand that much lipo. Tell me is it true that tenth one is free?
SARAH: Fuck you
SUSAN: Fuck you back
(Susan looks over to Daisy, Daisy carries on reading her magazine)
DAISY: How's it going?
(she sneers at her)
SUSAN: Dr Simmons said your ass fat is putting his daughter through Yale,
he's very grateful
DAISY: Is either of you a Mrs Samuels?
SUSAN: Mind your own fucking buisness
MAN: Doug Sam Samuels, do I know you?
(Sarah takes off her shoe)
DAISY: I'm Daisy, Daisy Adair, from the insurance company, there's been a
mix up with the coverage
DOUG: The've already made it perfectly clear the treatment is [i]not[/i]
covered
DAISY: It's not
DOUG: Why did you ask for a Mrs Samuels?
DAISY: I just assumed you were going to be a woman
DOUG: (he leans into her) I will be soon, I hope
DAISY: (she touches his arm and takes his soul) Of course you will
(he touches his arm as if he felt something)
SUSAN: I saw you park your Jag in the handicapped zone Sarah, is cellulite
now a recognised handicap?
SARAH: Tramp
SUSAN: Tart
SARAH: Slut
SUSAN: Middle aged
(Sarah throws her shoe and Susan gasps as it flies across but lands in
Doug's head. Susan looks over in shock, Daisy is flicking through the
magazine, but then Susan looks back to Sarah with a smug look)
Transition
Joy looking round the shop
announcer announces "and fragrances"
MALE SHOP ASSISTANT: Can I help you?
JOY: Oh no, I'm just browsing
MALE SHOP ASSISTANT:Okay, just let me know if you want to take anything out
for a test drive
(she fiddles with her wedding ring)
JOY: You know, er it might be time to try a new product or two
MALE SHOP ASSISTANT: It's like your house, so you start from the
foundations, then you build from the ground up, so for example you have
(picks up a lipstick) Hate your husband but willing to stay neutral (picks
up another) or already kicked his ass to the curb
JOY: What shade is he's banging one of his students?
MALE SHOP ASSISTANT: What's your name?
Joy
MALE SHOP ASSISTANT: It's a pretty name, so what do you want Joy?
JOY: The last ten years of my life back
MALE SHOP ASSISTANT: I can do that
Transition to Happy TimeMillie is walking down the corridor
(VO) Part of me knew that being mean was reckless, that it was like driving
too fast, so what if I wasn't wearing my seatbelt, so what if I occasionally
scrapped the fender (Millie bumps into Crystal who drops all the files)
MILLIE: Jesus christ Crystal!
CRYSTAL: I'm sorry Millie (she bends down to pick up the papers)
MILLIE: People have to walk around here, you know I don't have time to pick
this crap up
(everyone turns to look at her)
(VO)Nice girls dont get the guy
(Delores looks on)
nice girls don't rise to the top
Transition
Roxy is on the job - she is ramming a crook's head into the cop car
ROXY: now you made me mad, (punches him) now we can never be freinds
(he shouts out in pain)
Transition
flashback to the pool where young george is sitting by the pool
(VO) Nice girls finish last
(people in the pool going past her on their inflatable dolphins, someone
jumps into the pool)
Transition
Theo and Mason are walking in the park, Theo has only a towel wrapped around
him
MASON: Theo? theo, theo we have these rules, okay? no funerals. Funerals are
for the living, so they take a couple of days to arrange, so let's...
THEO: Ahh especially one like mine, it's gonna be an event, I have friends,
I can't wait
MASON: That's just it, Theo you can't wait, arrrg goodness how do I explain
this..err err youve called the cable guy right? and youve made an
appointment and that cable guy has made a window for you and that window is
from twelve till five right? so if your not there when he presses that
little doorbell then...
THEO: No cable
MASON: I don't bloody know Theo, I really bloody don't know
THEO: Son, I appreciate the effort but I was in sales and I gotta tell you
you're not closing, I'm going to my funeral
MASON: Please at least meet my boss then?
THEO: Look at this Betty, I'm going to talk to god today
MASON: (mutters) no he just thinks he's god
THEO: Hehe You sure that no-one could see me?
(he takes his towel off and walks passed at lady sitting on the bench)
MASON: Oh no, no no, I would have thought that was completely obvoius by now
(he takes a swig of his bottle of alcohol. Theo walks through a group of
school girls)
(looking embarrased)That is just not right for them. Hi (takes another swig)
Theo!
Transition
At the Plastic surgeons office SSaragh is being led off by the police and
Daisy and Stan are standing by the reception area
STAN: I better call my parents
DAISY: They your next of kin?
(he nods)
DAISY: Did your parents know what you were doing?
STAN: (doesn't answer but folds his arms) That's a beautiful cross, you
catholic?
DAISY: I'm thinking about it
STAN: When I was a kid my mom used to pray at the drop of a hat, every
morning before my dad would go to work, everytime I took a test, for the pot
roast to be tender, (he smiles is it is ironic) she really never stopped
praying
DAISY: The power of prayer is very really for some people
STAN: Yeah, and a million "Hail Mary's" didn't make me into a girl
DAISY: I'm sorry
STAN: Do you think that there's a chance I could go to church one more time?
DAISY: (she grabs his hand) Of course (they go out the door, as they are
passing the camera rests on the police and the surgeon)
OFFICER: I'm not interested in speculation doctor, I'm just interested in
facts
DR: The fact is that you have no chin, you need a chin implant, how do you
even change pillow cases?
Transition
At the mall. Reggie is still in the shop with the shop assistant
ASSISTANT: (she passes her a bag) and that is everything, Reggie, if you
change your mind, it's completely cool (Joy walks into the shop and comes to
the counter with new clothes and the new lipstick)
ASSISTANT: Wow, check out your mom?
JOY: Well?
REGGIE: You look like a newscaster (she walks off)
JOY: How much?
ASSISTANT: One ninty five + tax
JOY: You're good (and hands over her card)
Outside of the mall, Joy tries to get Reggie's attention and sees a car pass
JOY: Reggie! Reggie stop
(the car stops)
MAN: Hi
JOY: Hi do I know you?
STEVE: no, I'm Steve, youre hot
JOY: Fuck off Steve
(he speeds off)
REGGIE: Who was that?
JOY: Nobody. Newscaster my ass (she walks off. Reggie sighs)
Transition
at Happy Time, at Millie's cubicle Ethan is sitting while she is standing
ETHAN: So everything is on your harddrive and I made you a hardcopy in this
binder in case you know, all that whole nazi problem resurfaces again (gives
her the file)
MILLIE: Why is there post-it's on my binder?
ETHAN: I put these post-its at the top of each sub sections, say if your
like trying to find a job typing, or mothing like, you can also find
MILLIE: I don't like post-its, lose the postits Ethan
ETHAN: Okay, sure,whatever. I do origami crafts and I had some extra, so I
work so quickly,(so she throws the binder on the desk) so I (pauses) made
you a swan(Millie looks to the desk)
MILLIE: Oh Ethan!(she looks under the the binder where she sees a flat peice
of paper)Oh that's so sweet, Sorry
ETHAN: It was a pretty one, I guess I could make you another one?
MILLIE: That's okay
ETHAN: I didn't really want to anyway, okay bye (he dashes off)
(VO) I wasn't always like this
Transistion flashback
Young George walking by the pool
(VO) I used to be a nice person (she goes and sits next to Beth-ann)
YOUNG GEORGE: Hi, Beth Anne.
BETH ANNE: Isn't it weird how there's so many waves but the water is not
really going anywhere ?
YOUNG GEORGE: Why can't you be normal? Why do you have to be so weird?
BETH ANNE: I don't know. (she gets up and walks off, Young George looks over
to the five girls, the leader sticks her finger up at her)
Transition back to Happy Time
(VO) But being nice didn't seem to work either. It's like anyway I'd play
it, I wind up alone.
Crystal passes Millie's cubicle and pusses over the files, Millie looks
agast and so does Delores.
MILLIE: I'm sorry, Delores.
DELORES: You know, Millie, back in the days, when I had all those
restraining orders against me, I thought hate was the answer
MILLIE: Seriously, Dolores, I'm not a nazi!
DELORES: Oh I know that, silly! I'm just trying to say, sometimes when I
have to choose between a bullwhip and a smile, I choose the smile.(George
stops dead)
MILLIE: That was one of the first things you ever said to me. You said: "I
haven't seen you smile once."
DELORES: I don't think so. I said that to another young girl. Lovely young
girl. Tragic what happened.
MILLIE: Yeah, my mistake.
DELORES: Millie, Ethan just quit.
MILLIE: What?
DELORES: He said he wasn't cut out for this kind of "corporate cutthroat
culture"
What happened, Millie?
MILLIE: I had a bad day.
DELORES: No! Millie...Ethan had a bad day.
Transition.
Daisy and Stan are walking in the park
STAN: This park is beautiful
DAISY: All of God's creatures, right?
STAN: I guess, I wanted to be a girl ever since I can remember.
DAISY: Who wouldn't wanna be a girl? We're so much prettier than boys!
You're kinda pretty.
STAN: You make it look so effortless.
DAISY: Yeah but don't let the final picture fool you, this is 2 hours of
hard labor in the morning.
STAN: No, it's in everything you do. The way you walk, the way your hair
flows, the way you move your hips... It's perfect
DAISY: Are you flirting with me ?
STAN: I'm dead
DAISY: Right
STAN: Still yours is the face I wanted to see in the mirror every morning.
Just perfect.
DAISY: I know. But you know what, Stan? So are you.
STAN: I think we both know that's not quite true.
DAISY: You're sweet. You're honest. You've got great style. You'd have made
a good woman.
STAN: Would have, could have but I got screwed
DAISY: Yeah. That's all part of his plan, that's what they say.
STAN: That's what they say.
DAISY: Why are you going to church?
DAISY: It's where you talk to God, Daisy, It's his house.
Transition
Regie in her room - she is standing in front of the big full length mirror
and she takes off her glasses. Her mother comes in
JOY: Reggie, I need to get a move on early tomorrow morning so you're gonna
have to...
Wow!(reggie puts her glasses back on)
REGGIE: Don't you knock!
JOY: Wow! You look like a...young woman
REGGIE: Please, get out
JOY: I'm out.
(she closes the door)
Transition
At Der Waffle Haus. Rube, Roxy George and the waitress is serving
RUBE:Thanks, Matzoth balls are nice tonight.
GEORGE: Do you care if people like you?
ROXY: Do I act like I care?
GEORGE: No
ROXY: Nobody likes the cops anywa, but they're sure happy to see us when the
shit hits the fan.
RUBE: Eat your soup before it's cold. (Rube looks over and sees Theo)
Jesus! Those are some enormous balls.
GEORGE: Excuse me!(she sees him, he is whipping the waitress with his towel)
Oh good God!
MASON: You have to help me. This man wants to go to his own funeral.
GEORGE: (totally embarassed) He died naked?
MASON: Smashed into a diving board.
ROXY: With his balls?
MASON: Stunning, isn't it?
RUBE: Tell him the rules, Mason. No funerals.
MASON: I tried that, Rube. The thing is...
RUBE: The thing is what, Mason?
MASON: You know that thing. You're good at that...thing that you can...
you're better at...you know, you know...talking.
RUBE: Well said.
MASON: Please, Rube. His name is Theo.
(Theo sees a coin on the floor and goes and tries to pick it up)
ROXY: This is too much ball.
(he pushes his bowl away)
RUBE: Now he's put me off my soup.
MASON: So, you see what I'm saying ?
RUBE: I don't see what you're saying.
GEORGE: I do! Oh God!
(He walks over to them)
THEO: Der Waffle Haus. I remember when the first one of these went up. War
was over. Didn't go so well in the beginning. Betty and I were on our 5th
date. She had waffles.
(Rube looks to Mason)
RUBE: Thanks. Thanks a million. (he get's out of his seat) Come on, Theo.
Let's chat.
THEO: Look at the lovers. Kiss her, you putz.
RUBE: This way, Theo.
MASON: Gonna eat that soup?
GEORGE: Just gross.
MASON: Haven't seen many of them, have you ?
GEORGE: My first...pair.
ROXY: They're not all like that. Some are worse.
MASON: Poor Betty.
GEORGE: Who's Betty?
MASON: No one.
GEORGE: How does this guy not care if people see him like that?
MASON: He just doesn't.
GEORGE: Do you care if people like you?
MASON: No! Why? Somebody said something about me? Is it Daisy? Does she not
like me?
GEORGE: I have to go.
MASON: I can't believe this. What? Has Daisy said something about me?
ROXY: That old man is your reap, Mason.
MASON: So bloody what?
ROXY: Man! You never met a problem you couldn't run from, huh?
You're the one who needs some balls. (he looks dejected)
GEORGE: (Sheilds her eyes as she is passing Theo and Rube) Night, Rube!
THEO: Did she me?
RUBE: She can.
RUBE: And she'll never be the same for it. You know, Theo, death has its own
protocol.
It's like a train. You don't wanna be late for your train.
THEO: Exactly what that Mason guy said except prettier.
RUBE: Thank you. Why do you wanna go to your own funeral?
THEO: I'm just curious. I'll see who'll come, hear what people have to say.
I lived a long life, you know. Stories will be told.
RUBE: Worried somebody might make a joke or two at your expense?
THEO: I don't know. I was a loud mouth. Betty always laughed at my jokes.
RUBE: Theo, you strike me as the kind of guy who he was, not a load of
bullshit. You were the kind of guy who didn't give a shit about being liked.
That's why people liked them.
MASON: How long ago did Betty die, Theo?
THEO: Seven years this November.
MASON: I'm sorry. I'm a little bit confused. I mean...Isn't she the one that
you really wanna see? And I'm thinking she's not gonna be at your funeral.
THEO: Yep. I miss her. God! I miss my wife.
MASON: I don't think we should keep Betty waiting any longer.(he leans over
the table) Let's go find her then
THEO:Yeah
MASON: Come on.(Mason stands up but turns back to Rube) Rube, do you think
Daisy is upset with me for a reason?
RUBE: Can't imagine why she would be.
THEO: Come on already! I'm freezing my balls of here.
MASON: Sorry, Theo. Wouldn't wanna keep you waiting.(Rube waves him off)
Transition
At the church. Daisy and Stan walk in.
DAISY: Would you like some time alone, Stan?
STAN: Please.
Daisy sits down at the pew and makes the sign. Stan walks towards the front
STAN: You bastard. (he tries to grab one of the bibles to throw it but
can't)
DAISY: Stan!
STAN: Hypocritical, no-good, backstabbing, judgmental... You said we're all
God's children. Except the freaks. Except for me.( he tries to do it again)
You, You do it
DAISY: I can't. I won't
STAN: Just help me
DAISY: I'm sorry. I can't
STAN: Why would god do this to me?
DAISY: Do what? Have you die this way?
STAN: Have me live this way. God doesn't love all creatures, Daisy.
DAISY: I think you should pray, Stan.
STAN: I want to forgive him, but I want him to tell me...that he's sorry
first.
(a smashing window - Dasiy runs outside to investigate. A light is coming
behind the stained glass window and a figure appears)
Camera outside
KID: Come on! Go! Go! (three kids run away)
DAISY: Hey, hey! Hey, god's watching you! He saw that! Hooligans! You'll pay
for that!
(Daisy comes back in)
DAISY: Stan? Stan...
(does it again and kneels down at the pew)
DAISY: Blessed art thou amongst women. (she smiles a broad smile)
Transition
A red sunset transition into the waffle Haus, where Rube is taking a sip of
his drink
(VO) I don't know exactly what makes people cross over. I mean, souls.
Transition at the church, where Daisy and watches the priest sweep up the
broken glass)
(VO) I think they see light where others cannot. I think they see a chance
to become something else. Someone else. (Daisy sits down)
Transition
Reggie is at the mall - back at the shop, with her new clothes and new bag
looking out for the shop assistant
(VO) Some people are becoming who they're going to be,(Roxy comes into Der
Waffle Haus and gets a post-it from Rube) others are just trying to be
anything but who they are (Joy. at home, looking in the mirror, trying both
the lipsticks)...And others just can't decide.
Transition back to the mall, where Reggie sees the shop assistant
ASSISTANT: This is Iroquois. It'll match your dark hair perfectly.
She takes the clips out of her hair that she suggested and walks off
(VO) Everybody wants to be liked.
Transition
George is in her car, she stops outside a cafe
)Ethan turns around and looks around)
(VO)I know I did...but I knew I was still looking...for something, for
someone. For light...
Transition
Young George is standing by the pool. Beth-ann taps her on the shoulder
BETH-ANN: Um, hi, George.
GEORGE: Hi, Beth Anne.
(VO) And I had no idea where I'd find it.(Beth-Ann pushes young George into
the pool) When I was 10, something happened to me...And something happened
to Beth Anne Miller...(she is floating in the water) and it changed both of
our lives...forever. (and sees two gravelings, one goes to get her but the
other whispers to it and they swim away. Two lifeguards jump in to save
her.)
END CREDITS
