Épisode Combattre le destin S01E04 - Dead Like Me Saison 1

Épisode 104

Roxy et George comparent les poppy’s aux m&m’s… Elles n’ont pas les mêmes goûts… et Roxy envoie balader George. Selon Roxy, les poppy’s peuvent changer une vie…

Le gars ne se pointe pas; le RDV est manqué ! C’est rare mais ça arrive et George est simplement stupéfaite de l’apprendre… Il existe donc une issue de secours. Bettie, quant à elle, est enfermée à la morgue.

Reggie appelle sa mère par son prénom ce qui l'ennui beaucoup. Leur relation s’étiole de jours en jours. Reggie agit de plus en plus bizarrement et sous les yeux de George, qui la surveille, elle ramasse un oiseau mort.

Une publicité sur une ceinture qui permet de se muscler tout en se relaxant passe à la télé… Pendant ce temps, George reçoit son HEM et décide de faire foirer son RDV. Elle se rend donc sur son lieu de travail et force leur rencontre. C’est un PDG d’une grosse boite et George se fait passer pour la petite amie droguée de son fils qui se fait exploitée sexuellement… Ses mensonges sont tellement convaincants qu’il finit même par lui remettre de l’argent.

De leur côté, Rube et Mason sont à l’aéroport mais la présence d’un chien un peu trop curieux alerte les policiers… Mason a avalé un sachet de drogue ! Tous les deux sont interrogés mais plus particulièrement Mason qui a le droit à une fouille intégrale !! Mais ils ne trouvent rien… Normal, le sachet s’est ouvert et son contenu se répand dans son corps.

Au boulot, George surprend Crystal en train de lécher le téléphone de leur chef. Écoeurée, elle garde pourtant sa découverte pour elle. Mais elle devient l’ennemie jurée de Crystal quand même. Deloras propose à George de venir travailler un jour de plus ; cette dernière accepte après un vrai travail de lèche botte.

Au resto, Rube distribue les HEM par dizaines… Y’a-t-il une catastrophe dans l’air ? George révèle en passant que son RDV ne s’est pas présenté ! Rube l’entraîne alors aux toilettes et lui passe un savon ! IL ne croit pas du tout en sa version d’histoire. Du coup, avec l’aide de Mason, elle tente de rattraper le coup et s’introduit chez une victime. Le gars a été électrocuté à cause de la ceinture censée révolutionner le sport ! Les conséquences des actes de George sont désastreuses… En effet, au moment où elle entretenait une conversation avec lui afin de le détourner de son destin, celui aurait dû lire un document important l’informant du risque de l’utilisation de cette ceinture abdominale. Un sportif transpire forcément et la transpiration est justement le facteur du risque… Résultat, des tas de personnes ayant utilisé cette ceinture se sont électrocutés par leur propre sueur ! Des tas de personnes, mortes, mais qui n’auraient pas dû mourir ! Une file d’attente incroyable, au bide explosé, patiente en compagnie de Rube et des autres. Mais ça ne s’arrête pas là… George est harcelée par les Grevlins qui ne supportent pas qu’elle ait perturbé le cours du temps.

Puis, Rube ramène Mason chez lui et s’en occupe. Il lui interdit de dormir dans son lit mais lui fait une petite place par terre. Mason vomit en dormant et lorsqu’il se réveille réintègre le lit de Rube…

Du côté de Happy Time, la guerre est ouverte ! Crystal éternue sur le clavier de George… Celle-ci comprend vite que son clavier a été salit par la réceptionniste et se met à jurer… Pas de chance pour elle, c’est à ce moment que Doloras passait par là. Ses propos la choquent. Elle semble déçue.

Pendant ce temps, Joy découvre l’oiseau mort caché par sa fille dans un coffre. Elle le jette et attend Reggie, un verre à la main… Et quand Reggie apparaît, elle la traite de folle mais elle l’aime et compte bien arranger les choses. Elles tentent de trouver une activité commune...

Au resto, la réconciliation entre Rube et George semble compromise.

Roxy arrive finalement au café, énervée et épuisée. De plus, des tas d’incidents sont venus contrariés sa journée. George remarque que son boulot est pire que le sien et, en un sens, ça la soulage un peu ! Elles discutent toutes les deux… et, Roxy lui déballe toutes les fois où les gens s’emportent et s’insurgent contre elle. Un jour pourtant, un homme a accepté sans broncher son amende… aimable et compréhensif, il a même offert des poppy’s à Roxy tout en lui souriant. Ce geste, bien que simpliste, a égayé la journée de Roxy… C’était il y a un an et lorsque Roxy a vu son nom sur l’HEM, elle n’a pas supporté de devoir récupérer son âme et lui a donné une seconde chance en coupant volontairement son électricité. Du coup, l’homme ne s’est pas réveillé à temps car son radio réveil n’a pas fonctionné. Résultat, il n’était pas à l’heure du RDV avec la faucheuse.

Au Happy Time, George se venge… elle marche dans la merde et s’essuie sur la moquette à l’emplacement du bureau de Crystal tandis que celle-ci trafique sa lampe. Peu de temps après, la lampe de George explose mais l’odeur de la merde sous le bureau de Crystal persiste… Finalement, elle sorte le drapeau blanc et se lie d’amitié… enfin peut-être !?

Reggie et Joy ont enfin trouvé une activité qui leur permet d’être ensemble : la taxidermie, qui consiste à ouvrir le corps d’animaux morts pour les empaler !

Rube, seul chez lui, se prépare un festin… une ombre apparaît dans son couloir et glisse une lettre sous sa porte… Rube ouvre aussitôt mais cette mystérieuse silhouette a déjà disparu. Il s’installe à table et goûte à son repas.


FIN -

Close up of peanut poppies then pans out

(VO)Long and gnarled is the fickle finger or fate but that finger has a
pisser of a hangnail. it can be crippling and in the game of life and
death, It's good to know fate has a weakness, like the candy coated
goodness of a lightly salted peanut poppy. For those not raised in the
South a peanut poppy is like a peanut M&M but just different enough to
avoid litigation, and the purple ones are the best. (picture flicks to
the peanuts fields - 1950's film) From the fields of Georgia, (change
slide) to a factory processing unit (change slide) to a store near
you, (stops at a parking space JH Arnold - Reserved 24 hours)
something as insignificant as a peanut poppy can change fate

Transition
George and Roxie in the cab waiting for an appointment

GEORGE: I kind of prefer M&Ms
ROXIE: I like these. These are salted
GEORGE: I think I would like them better if they weren't
(looks disgusted at her)
GEORGE: I mean they're good but.... (goes to take one, Roxie moves the
packet away)
ROXIE: Go buy yourself some M&M's

(VO)I wish she had a tail, if it was wagging, at least I would know
she liked me

ROXIE: I'm gonna eat one of those Listerine strips, these things make
your breath smell like ass
GEORGE: Ass and peanuts
(Roxie looks to her watch, the looks over to the parking space)
ROXIE: Damn it!

Transition
At Der Waffle Haus. in the background there is yodelling music.
Roxie, Rube, Mason and George are sitting at the table

ROXIE: My guy's a now-show
RUBE: Were you on time?
ROXIE: I was on time for the time you gave me
GEORGE: So does this mean a soul is going to rot now? I mean he
made an appointment, right?
MASON: So? He missed it
ROXIE: So button, bitch, don't you listen?
RUBE: Somebody doesn't show up for an appointment, the appointment
gets cancelled, it's rare but it happens
GEORGE: So he gets to live? like consequence-free
RUBE: Well his appointment can be rescheduled. Sure
GEORGE: You said you can't reschedule, you said you can't change fate
cardinal rule - everybody dies. You said these things
RUBE: Well ever so often things don't go to plan. don't it's not
personal
GEORGE: So like, on a whim or a wild hair he goes to pick up
doughnuts for the office, then he gets to live?
RUBE: Sounds like instant karma to me. Huh?

(VO) No-one mentioned death had a loophole

GEORGE: That's really fucking unfair
(gets post-it in his hand and waves it in front of Mason)
RUBE: Hey, you like the ladies, right?
MASON: Mhm
RUBE: Mhm? sure you do. hey ooh. You and me - hop and pop. Clearwater
casino. North of the border. Drive up. Fly back. What do you say?
MASON: I'm easy, actually I know some mates in Clearwater
(gives George a post-it)
RUBE: Here you might want to ask for a late lunch
ROXIE: Where's Betty?
RUBE: Incapacitated. She's working on it
(pounding on the)
BETTY: Hello (pounding continues) There's been a mistake

Transistion Joy driving and Reggie sitting in the passenger's seat

(VO)Fate isn't always fickle sometimes it sticks to what it knows

REGGIE: Thanks for the ride Joy
JOY: I asked you not to call me that
REGGIE: It's you're name, don't you like your name?
JOY: Yeah I like my name fine but you don't need to say it unless
someone asks you what it is, got it. You might want to nod to acknowledge
that
I've spoken
REGGIE: (one nod)
JOY: Thank you
REGGIE: Now can I go?
JOY: Yes
(leaves the car to go into school. Joy drives off and George is behind
a tree looking on)

(VO) It was like watching reruns of my childhood, I knew almost
nothing about my sister. I'm not really sure what grade she's in, fifth,
I think (a kid bullying another)
KID: Help!
(walks on further)
KID 1: Hey, Lassie
KID 2: Lass hole
(group of children standing round with there bikes, Reggie looks over)
How could someone so invisible to me be so visible to everyone else?
(there is a dead bird, she undoes her bag and puts it in. The kids groan)

(VO) Maybe because she acted like the princess of weird

Transition
To Happy Time. At Delores desk

DELORES: I sense you are not challenged. (wipes down her phone) Are
you challenged Millie?
GEORGE: Sort of
DELORES: Cold and flu season is almost upon us, we're about to get
very busy. (rubs antiseptic into her hands) How would you feel about
having a weensy bit more responsibility?
GEORGE: Err okay
DELORES: That's the spirit. United Insurance is looking for an organised
filer,
with a positive attitude Now, this is commonly regarded as a low-interest
position so our options will be limited. I'd like you to compile a list of
"remedial skills" avails for me and prioritise them
GEORGE: In what order?
Start with the people you feel are the best suited for the job and work your
way down to the dregs. Isn't responsibility fun?

(VO) As I worked through the dregs I couldn't help but ponder the day I
died.
(looking on the computer comes to the name Georgia Lass)
What if I stayed in the office for my 35 minute lunch hour? What if I ate
in?
the break room? What if I missed my appointment?
(gets a post-it
J.P Munroe
N.W corner
Cochran Ave 43rd
E.T.D 1.46 PM)

(VO) What if it really was unfair? I may not be able to save my life, but
didn't mean that I couldn't save somebody else's (leaves the chair spinning)


(sits back down at Delores' desk)
DELORES: Hi
GEORGE: Hi um.. my gynaecologist called and he needs to reschedule a little
early, so if that's possible....
DELORES: Boy he just can't make up his mind, can he?
GEORGE: Yeah. So is that okay?
DELORES: Of course, don't be silly. I hope it's nothing serious
GEORGE: No no, I'm fine, it's just... I'm fine
DELORES: Is it a (mouths)
GEORGE: What??
DELORES: A pap... Are they doing a pap? (points down below)
GEORGE: Uh...huh
DELORES: Well, whatever it is early detection is key
GEORGE: Yeah
DELORES: The last time I had a pap my ass stuck to the paper, so when my
OB-GYN told me to slide down, the paper ripped. Well he kept trying to pull
more paper up from that little roll under the table and tuck it round my
head,
but that kept falling off too. I tell you, we got to laughing, I was
laughing
so hard he couldn't get the speculum in because my muscles were all tense
(George moves back in shock), because of the laughing. You know I think that
was one of my best laughs ever (laughing)

Transition
fast camera ladies getting onto a bus. Mason and Rube sitting down with
bowling
T-shirts on

RUBE: You got 14. Dealer's got 16. Hit or stick?
MASON: I don't know
RUBE: 'cause you're not watching the table
MASON: I don't know
RUBE: You hit somehow out of the sweet blue sky the sky next to you busts
MASON: Do I like this guy?
RUBE: He's your fellow man of course you like him. He busts you 'cause you
took
his card
and don't want to be your friend anymore. The other one at the end of the
table
he's crying into his beer 'cause he just doubled down
MASON: Then I would stick
RUBE: Look all I'm saying is someone who doesn't know what she's doing can
blow
it for the whole table
MASON: So don't let her sit down at the table
RUBE: She's already sitting. sit at the table
MASON: Don't get excited
RUBE: I'm not, I'm cool as a cucumber, what are you talking about?
MASON: Okay, all I'm saying is you probably should have this conversation
with
George
RUBE: Why you doing this to me?
MASON: What?
RUBE: Nothing
MASON: I'm not doing anything. Just take a breath and calm down
RUBE: Calm down I'm breathing fine, Mason
MASON: Good. look If you want me to talk to her I'll talk to her
RUBE: I don't want you talking to anyone. Just don't, I'm sorry I brought it
up
Don't be sorry. It was a mistake
MASON: Just, were having a chat
RUBE: No you're right. I should be saying it to George, not you and as far
as
she's concerned we didn't have this conversation
MASON: So what conversation did we have?
RUBE: Who gives a shit? Not this one

Transition
MARYANN: Gary, I thought you came in here to exercise
GARY: I did
MARYANN: What Happened?
GARY: Nothing, I'm exercising
MARYANN: What are you talking about? (comes up on the screen Mary Anne
Mobley
former Miss America)
GARY: What if I told you (Gary Collins TV personality) I found a way to work
out and
read a book at the same time?
MARYANN: Well I do that every day, Gary. You see our treadmill has a
bookstand
GARY: Can you cook and work out at the same time? can you drive?
MARYANN: Of course not
GARY: Well now you can
MARYANN: (hamming it up) What is that?
GARY: A miracle (looks into the camera) No more crunches, no more sit-ups
all
I have to do is simply turn it and burn
ANNOUNCER: And all you have to do for your very own absolver is send 20
dollars....

(VO) I found JP Munroe 11 minutes before his ETD, (goes to JP's offices)
almost
two miles from where he was scheduled to die (passes two cardboard cut outs
of
the stars)

MONROCO SECRETARY: I'm sorry Mr Munroe isn't available
GEORGE: Did you tell him it's important?
MONROCO SECRETARY: Yes but he's just on his way out of the office
GEORGE: It'll only take a second, please I'll be quick
MONROCO SECRETARY: He's not gonna see you, he doesn't know who you are or
what
this is regarding
GEORGE: ....I'm the girl his son drugged and it's regarding him videotaping
me
while homeless people had sex with my unconscious body
MONROCO SECRETARY: I'll double check

(VO) A steady stream of lies spewd from my mouth each one more elaborate
than
the last. I drew upon everything I had ever read on Penthouse Forum and made
it
my own. I was the queen of deception, and I was on fire, by the time I
finished
I almost believed it myself

(face puffy from crying)
GEORGE: ....woke up someplace else

(VO)You don't show up for your appointment, you're appointment gets
cancelled.
Rare, but it happens

JP: I would like to give you um... some money

(VO) and instant karma to boot (she takes the money, gives a happy smile
then
realises that she should be really sad) right about now JP Monroe (leaves
the
office and is walking down the stair) should be running a red light to make
his 2:00. but he's not

MONROCO SECRETARY: (comes down the stairs too) Excuse me, I am so sorry.
Here's my sister's card. Call her she's a lawyer, she will crucify that
little son of
a bitch
GEORGE: Um... thanks
MONROCO SECRETARY: Okay

(VO) Mason and Rube had popped a busload of gamblers and were flying home on
standby
(baby crying, woman making announcements over the PA system. Rube holds his
hand in head. gets up from the chair)
MASON: Where are you going?
I'm going to kill that fucking baby
(woman quickly turns round and scowls at him)I'm just kidding, I love
babies.
I gotta make a cissy; I'll be back in two shakes (baby continues to cry.
Mason
suddenly sees a large Alsatian. PA announcements continue. The dog looks at
him
looking shifty)

(VO) but tempting fate is another issue altogether, (camera moves down to
his
body and shows you his colon) especially when you're supplementing your
income
smuggling drugs up your ass (looks shiftily around, tunes and sees the dog
right in front of him growling, Mason crosses Cuts to Rube)

(VO) While Rube was being fickle-fingered

(at work)
(VO) I was returning to Happy Time with a click in my heel. I was strong, I
was
invincible, I beat the system, righted a universal wrong, but what about the
variables? (stand over Dolores's desk and sees Crystal licking the
telephone receiver) Not even Herbig who sanitizes herself to the point of
pathology can account for all the variables

GEORGE: Uh... These are the remedial skills avails that Dolores asked for.
I'll just leave them on her chair (walks away very quickly back to her
desk where Dolores is sitting)
DOLORES: I was just writing you a note. How'd it go?
GEORGE: How did what go?
DOLORES: The...... (looks round furtively) pap
GEORGE: OH fine. Fine. It's all good. Um, I was just--
DOLORES: When do you get the results?
GEORGE: (Crystal walks past) Um... errr... A couple of days
DOLORES: That's quick, usually by the time I get my results. I forget I've
had
the test, I hope they don't make you repeat it
GEORGE: No they won't
DOLORES: They will if it's abnormal. Listen I left you a Bowes catalogue,
your
workspace is looking a little sparse, why don't you get yourself a blotter
and
one of those jelly wrist supports, okay
GEORGE: Okay (fake laugh, Dolores walks off George sits down at her desk and
throws the catalogue in the waste paper bin)

Transition
Mason with his standing in front of two immigration officers with his shirt
off
and his arms folded. One of the officers is putting a pair of rubber gloves)

AIRPORT SECURITY GUARD: Alright, pull your pants around your ankles and bend
over please okay (Mason starts taking his pants off)

In a room with an investigator
RUBE: I was kidding about the baby, I told you that, what do you want me to
do? You want me to say I'm sorry? I'll say I'm sorry

Transition
Joy and Reggie are in the bathroom, Reggie is brushing her teeth

JOY: It's every Saturday for ten weeks. I thought it might be something fun
we could do together
REGGIE: I have Yoga on Saturdays
JOY: Well you could do both
REGGIE: What do they make you do?

Transition
MAN: Undies too, sir
(he takes them off reluctantly)

Transition
JOY: It's a pottery class. You make pottery
REGGIE: What kind?
JOY: Coffee mugs, bowls
REGGIE: Can't you just buy those at the store?
JOY: Would you prefer to paint?

Transition
AIRPORT SECURITY GUARD: I'm gonna to ask you to lean into me (as
he bends over the table the dog gives a low growl. Mason gulps)

Transition
RUBE: (Rube picks up the pen) Just a kind of general apology--"To whom it
may
concern?"

Transition
(Airport security guard pings his latex gloves off) He's clean
MAN: Put your clothes back on you're free to go
(pulls pants back up)
MASON: Um, thanks

(woman making announcements over the PA system)
Rube and Mason are sitting in the departure chairs

RUBE: I'm going to pretend this didn't happen
(shows Masons drugs in his bottom breaking and funny noises coming from him)
MASON: I think something just broke (baby starts to cry)
RUBE: I'm gonna kill that fucking baby

Transition
At Happy Time. George as Millie is at Dolores's desk

DOLORES: You're very well liked here
GEORGE: I am?
DOLORES: Absolutely! I've never seen someone find their place so quickly, It
really feels like you're one of us, but this part-time business, It just
isn't
working out for you. I'd like to have you for one more day a week. What do
you
say?
GEORGE: Uh. What day?
DOLORES: Tuesday, so we get you Monday, Tuesday Wednesday
GEORGE: Okay

(VO)Somehow I was failing upward

DOLORES: Wonderful! That makes me very happy

(VO) I stood out because I was the only one standing

(the phone rings)
DOLORES: (she picks it up) Dolores Herbig
(it is sticky and she wipes it down)
DOLORES: Why, Hello Sandra Sherman, thank you so much for returning my call.
Yes, yes. I do. Are you still available? Wonderful! You just made my day
(covers the mouthpiece over and looks over to George) Have Crystal call
Marilyn over at Deloit and Tusch and tell her we got her that executive
assistant
(back on the phone)
Dolores: Sandra! Uh-huh
(George walks over to see Crystal)

(VO) She had her little secret and as long as she didn't lick my phone, that
secret was safe with me. For all I know it was her cosmic role to spread
disease and for all she knew, I was the enemy

GEORGE: Um.... Dolores asked me, to ask you to um...

(VO) I couldn't bring myself to give her an order, even if it was coming
from
someone else

..For the number to the lady at Deloit and Tusch (gives her the number)

GEORGE: Thanks. Oh and just so you know I won't tell anyone about what you
did, okay

CRYSTAL: What did I do?

(VO)Even after thwarting fate it self...

Uh...noth--nothing

(VO)Crystal still intimidated the shit out of me

GEORE: Never mind (and walks off hurriedly. Is back at her desk looking
thoroughly bored. Sees Dolores coming towards her and picks up the
phone as if to dial someone)

GEORGE: (surprised) Hi
DOLORES: I just got off the phone with Marilyn Simcox, you're making friends
all
over the place, aren't you?
GEORGE: Oh Good
DOLORES: But I thought I said I wanted Crystal to make that call

(VO) I didn't want to tell her that crystal scared the shit out of me. So
instead I said....

GEORGE: Well she seemed really busy and I didn't want to bother her
DOLORES: Crystal was busy? I'm sorry were you about to use the phone?
GEORGE: I was just calling you, to see if there was anything I could do to
help

(VO) I became aware of the words only after they left my mouth

DOLORES: I like the way you show initiative, Millie. I like it a lot.
Id better watch my back pretty soon you'll have my job
(George Laughs)
GEORGE: Only after you get a promotion
DOLORES: Oh

(VO)I felt dirty

DOLORES: Well keep up the good work and thank you
GEORGE: You're welcome
DOLORES: (walks off and passes Crystal) You could learn a thing or two from
that girl
(George looks away from Crystal as she eyeballs her)

Transition
Waffle Haus. Rube, Roxie, Mason and

RUBE: Everybody's on the clock tonight--last minute additions
MASON: I think I should probably bow out because I'm feeling unwell and a
bit
stopped up
RUBE: That's not an option. Eeny-meeny-miny-moe. Look how lucky you are,
these
are all right next to each other
ROXIE: Is somebody's balcony gonna collapse?
GEORGE: Some of these don't even have times
RUBE: You got an eight hour window, just like the cable man. now this is all
a
bit of a hiccup and nobody's expecting perfection
GEORGE: What. Is there going to be an earthquake?
MASON: Maybe it's a whole bus full of ladies going over a cliff
RUBE: Yeah I know just the one

(VO)It seemed like a good time to slip it under the radar

GEORGE: Oh. Um I forgot to tell you, uh, my last guy didn't show up
(everyone
looks up, straight at George) just thought you might wanna know. What's the
soup today?
RUBE: Cream of bullshit

cuts to Rube bustling George into the bathroom

GEORGE: I stood at the intersection for like an hour and nothing happened
RUBE: Do me a favour, pretend a couple days have gone by and you
rethought this little lie. You're sad and repentant because you had an
epiphany, grow the fuck up
GEORGE: I'm not lying
(Rube is leaning on the door and the door is opened by Mason moaning to get
in.
Rube lets him in  and he runs to the toilet)
MASON: Jesus!
RUBE: Sure you are peanut. People lie all the time, it's not a bad thing
MASON: Oh sweet Jesus!
RUBE: You just misguided. How about trying some honesty on for size?
MASON: (trying to pick up his post-it)I can't seem to make my finger work, a
little help here please?
RUBE: What do you got to say for yourself?
MASON: Help me. Help me. Jesus --ahhh
GEORGE: I'm not lying

(VO) Sometimes if a lie is big enough there's an instinctive need to protect
it
(Mason in sever pain and shouting.) It's almost maternal

MASON: (flushes the toilet) Oh Thank you Jesus

(VO)I could only pray there wasn't any surveillance footage or eyewitness
accounts linking me to PJ Munroe and his non-death
(George is trying to jimmy - open the lock open)

GEORGE: I can't get this

(VO) It was my plan to call a little attention to myself as possible, from
here
on out
(Mason asks her to move out of the way and walks in to the door and falls on
the floor, and so does the front door key from the frame that lands on his
trousers - pants)

MASON: (he's coming down off the drugs) It landed on my wank. My wank has
the
key

(VO) That was the plan anyway

(They open the door and Mason walks in first)
Have you thought about having a wank?
(Is carrying Mason in)
GEORGE: No
MASON: I saw a dirty movie about a girl who had a wank. She looked like a
boy
with fake tits
GEORGE: Will you please stop talking?
(hears a noise and turns round to see a dead guy with the exercise band
round
his waist, in front of the television, that is on. George walks up to him,
looks at the TV and sees the infomercial with Mary-Anne and Gary. She turns
over the TV)
WOMAN: Jut moments ago Athletic supplier Monroco issued a massive recall of
their latest product--Absolver
PJ MUNROE: Gentlemen, at this time I want to say that the Munroe corporation
is deeply troubled by the loss of life...

(VO)It slowly dawned on me that I may have made a mistake. (fast tracking
through PJ Munroe's office

(VO) I didn't know PJ Munroe was contemplating the latest risk assessment
warning from legal when I paid him a visit. I didn't know he was surprised
to learn after months of exhaustive testing product safety had determined
that
people who exercise sweat. I didn't know that sweat when combined with an
underground electrical current could result in what the boys in the lab
nickname a belly fire. But I did know P J Munroe was distracted (puts a
piece of paper in his desk drawer) and not thinking clearly that day. The
potential danger of the Absolver, were somehow far from his mind

(boy running away from JP Munroe)
JP: You are not my son! I didn't teach you to treat women that way!(boy
falls down the steps)What the hell is the matter with you?! are you insane?!
(pins him down and tries to strangle him. The PA tries to drag him off)
I'll kill you!!!!

(VO) I don't think this is what Dolores had in mind when she said
responsibility is fun (cuts back to George who is so shocked she falls back
into the sofa next to the dead man)

Transition.
Rube at Der Waffle
RUBE: May I have your attention, please?

(VO) Meanwhile, Rube was tap-dancing about an after-life fuck-up with the
Absolver souls

(The Waffle Haus is jam packed with souls)

RUBE: ...A little off guard today, there's just a bit of a backlog and I
appreciate your patience (comes up to one of the souls) I apologize (camera
goes down to the stomach, where there is nothing there) I-It's--This is just
terribly embarrassing. Look, um.. (souls looking pretty fed up) before you
go
anywhere I'm gonna give you the name of somebody, whose magic just does
wonders.
You'll be happy (Rube is going round the tables and stopping at nearly every
time - a man without his shirt, he stops to talk) I want-- I want to thank
you
for understanding Rube looks up and sees Mason in the next booth whimpering.
Mason looks outside and sees Roxie with her van and lots of squashed up
souls
just struggling and groaning to get out)

(Roxie comes and sits next to Mason)

ROXIE:  Yo. I had this one dude and he had these electrical belts all over
his
body and--I don't know--he looked like the Bionic man, Bionic woman, Six
million dollar man, whatever that shit is. I don't why these people do this,
you know that lady on three's company with the big titties? I did her
thing..
Um butt-blaster ass-master...whatever, anyway I looked ridiculous
(Mason moans and Roxie looks at him strangely)

ROXIE: Are you high?
MASON: I've got illegal in my bottom
ROXIE: Why do you do this to yourself?
MASON: (crying) I don't know

(George is crying very loudly, and sitting on the toilet pulling at the
paper)

(she sees a blue pair of sneakers appear)
RUBE: You're taking this awfully hard
GEORGE: I just feel... really bad about all the people that had to die...
accidentally
RUBE: Oh. Is that it? I thought maybe you saw the news and were feeling
shitty
about what you did
(George quickly opens the toilet door and scowls at him)
Pulled the wrong piece out of the Jenga tower, little girl. You know what a
hiccup is?
GEORGE: Yes
RUBE: You got yourself a hiccup, when something happens that's not supposed
to
happen, the system has to figure out what that something is and fix it.
P J Monroe
GEORGE: I'm sorry
RUBE: What'd you do? slash his tyres, have him arrested?
GEORGE: I just talked to him
RUBE: Must have been some conversation
GEORGE: I guess
RUBE: I hope it was worth it. What. You got the hots for the guy or
something
GEORGE: No!
RUBE: What, did he give you some money?
GEORGE: No!!
RUBE: Help me out
GEORGE: I just wanted to see if I could do it?
RUBE: I need somebody to give me lessons on how to communicate with you,
peanut, 'cause I'm at a loss. The coin's on its way and the gumball's on its
way
and I'm plumb out of wisdom (walks off and shouts back) I'd start
sleeping with the lights on if you were you

(VO) I didn't know if that was a threat or a warning

Transition
At the flat, with the lights off and George in bed with her pyjamas

(VO) Rube washed his hands of me, but that didn't mean I was off the hook.
It only got worse. I broke the rules, the gravelings declared hunting season
on
my ass (low growl. George is out of bed, trying to hit the gravelings with
the
broom but completely missing them. swings the broom around to get the
graveling.
Puts the light on and under the covers, the graveling tips
the bed up George swears and the graveling laughs. A spring sticks into
George)
GEORGE: Owww

Transition.
Rube carrying Mason from the elevator by picking him up, but
falling over and then into his flat

(VO) Rube was only responsible for us up to a point

RUBE: (Mason heads for Rube's bed) No,no no, no no. do I look like I own
rubber
sheets? You're sleeping on the floor
(grabs him by the shoulder and directs him to the piece of floor at the end
of
the bed)
MASON: You're not going to make me sleep on the floor?
RUBE: Sure I am. sure I am. get a pillow, it's a nice pillow (throws down a
teddy
bear. Mason rests his head on it. throws a blanket half over him)
RUBE: Sleep tight

(VO) I had to realise that he had my back, if I hadn't already turned it on
him

RUBE: I'm putting a pan next to your head, for throw up its right by your
head
you can't miss it

Transition
Crystal entering Happy time, camera shot of her sitting in someone's chair.
She
sneezes and droplets fall onto the keyboard and moves from the chair,
leaving
it turning

(VO)the burden of spreading disease didn't go solely on Crystal's shoulders
(She moves off the chair and leaves it swinging)

After all (cuts to Joy taking a pile of clean clothes in Reggie's room)
There's
lots of ways to spread disease(goes and puts the clothes down in the closet
-
comes back out and sniffs looks inside the toy box, moves a stuffed snake
out of
the way and opens the box. She shrieks)

JOY: For Christ sake

(puts it in the trash with her rubber gloves on)


Transition
Mason waking up in a small puddle of his own vomit, that he has been resting
in Mason mumbles, he gets up and heads for the bed and gets in

Transition
Millie is at work, at her desk, she is typing. she scratches her nose and
smells
her fingers, then smells the keyboard. She eyeball crystal who is drinking
from
a cup. Millie realises what Crystal has done and looks disgusted at her. A
graveling is about and brings the filing cabinet drawer out, so when she
pulls
back in with her chair she bangs her leg on it

MILLIE: OWWWW. Fucker. Shit
(Dolores is walking past)
DOLORES: I didn't know you used that kind of language Millie
MILLIE: I don't. It just really hurt
DOLORES: Well it's a really aggressive word
MILLIE: I know, it's just that... I won't say it again, I'm sorry. do you
see
how red it is?
DOLORES: Maybe you should get some ice on that (tuts and moves on)

(VO)all around me the bridges were burning

Transition
At the Waffle Haus Mason holding his head and Rube reading his paper at the
table

MASON: I feel like I've been poisoned. Have you been poisoned?
RUBE: No not on purpose. I had some bad salmon once, I don't touch the stuff
anymore
MASON: Was it salmon mousse?
RUBE: I don't know, it's canned
(George comes and sits down)
RUBE: Morning
GEORGE: Morning, why you leaving?
RUBE: well 'cause if I stay you'll put me in a bad mood, and it's a
beautiful day
and I don't wanna be in a bad mood
GEORGE: Do you not like me anymore?
RUBE: Well not right this minute, you're a constipator, peanut and you
disturb
my shit and that's annoying
MASON: I think you're marvellous
(George looks at Mason)
RUBE: (points to Mason) This is not your role model
GEORGE: In case you haven't noticed, I'm really sorry
RUBE: And you'll be really sorry till I decide to forgive you or until you
decide to stop doing the stupid things you do, now make you're sorry
GEORGE: Haven't you ever wanted to try and save anybody?
RUBE: No
GEORGE: (looks at Mason) Have you?
MASON: I need to be unconscious (puts his head on the table)
GEORGE: I know I piss you off but you piss me off too
RUBE: I piss you off?
GEORGE: Why is it that easy for you to accept everything the way it is. Why
don't you ask questions?
RUBE: Well 'cause I'm not that curious and if you don't get this right
someone
else is going to drop another toilet seat on your head, and that will be
that
(gives her a post-it) Give this to Roxie, when she shows up
RUBE: (gets up picks up his sweater) Here I got something. Buy yourself a
waffle (gives her some money, she receives it) A cherry on top (he leaves)

GEORGE: (To Mason) Do you think I'm a constipator?
MASON: Heed his advice and stay on his good side, he's like a volcano, you
know George
he erupts and he spews lava and all the little villagers (does a motion with
his fingers to show villagers running) they run around, you run around for
their lives, but you know, he stops and you can go back to the safety of
your
own home
GEORGE: How long is he going to stay mad?
MASON: (lift his head up) I've seen him stay mad for years, I've seen it,
but
not like this, pit-bull mad. It's like this disturbing, simmering, quiet
rage
mad. But he likes you George, he'll stay mad for less time
GEORGE: Days? Weeks?
MASON: What is that other one, after that one?
GEORGE: Months?
MASON: Yeah, yeah, that's the one

Transition
Joy is sitting in Reggie's bedroom with half a bottle of wine. Reggie comes
in

JOY: Hi
REGGIE: Hi. Why aren't you at work?
JOY: Called in sick. come in
REGGIE: I have to go wash my hands
JOY: No you don't
REGGIE: I have dirt under my finger nails
JOY: You're not fooling anyone, come in and sit down(Reggie sits down)
What's
with that bird Reggie? (looks fidgety)You didn't kill it did you?
REGGIE: I found it like that
JOY: Any other dead animals in the house, I should know about
REGGIE: No
JOY: Keeping a dead animal in your toy box, is something a crazy person
would do
REGGIE: I'm not crazy
JOY: Garbage men wouldn't even take it, I had to call animal control or
health
department, for someone to pick it up
REGGIE: What do you want me to do about it?
JOY: I don't like where we're headed, I don't... I hate it so much.
(getting more upset) I love you Reggie, every time I talk to you, I feel
like
we're these little rats in a cage and we keep touching that goddamn bar, and
we
keep getting shocked. We don't effing learn. doesn't it make you tired?
'cause
I'm tired

Transition
Roxie in her meter maid car with her windscreen broken. Syrup being poured
onto waffles. George looks up and hears gravelings and looks out the window
and sees Roxie coming out of her van and the sign outside bursts into
flames,
showering with sparks

ROXIE:(shouts) You missed me motherfucker
(comes and sits next to George)
ROXIE: Did you see that shit? Did you see that thing fall down?
GEORGE: You had a flat tyre
ROXIE: I did nothing, I walked out and when I tried to shift, it fell down.
Can I
have some orange juice? (takes her hat off, straightens out her hair)these
little brats egged my car, and I was going to beat their ass, but then this
bitch comes up to me, $25 ticket, So, pay the damn ticket. (runs fingers
through her hair) It's been a fucked up week

(VO) In that moment I understood Roxie more than I ever did before, a
piece if the puzzle had fallen into place, It was like finding out someone's
parent's are Psychiatrists or raised catholic. (clips of verbal abuse at
Roxie) Roxie had an even shitier job than me, I don't know how she put up
with it (woman writing Bitch with her lipstick on her windscreen). I didn't
know she J H Arnold was the sunshine after a long dark night of assholes. I
didn't know he greeted his ticket with a smile and said "You got me" I
didn't
know he shared his favourite candy, the candy his silver-haired mother in
Athens, Georgia had shipped to him especially on birthdays and holidays and
I
didn't know she got his name on a post it, almost a year to the day after
their brief but fateful meeting (his post-it reads J.H Arnold 145 East 2nd
ETD 8.54am. J H is sleeping in his bed with the alarm clock over his head
reading 6.29am) But I do know there was something about him she though
something was worth saving (Roxie coming to the apartment and switching off
the main fuse) because she changed his fate. (the alarm clock's power is
shut
off) I don't know how, but she did, even though it made her breath smell
like ass, it was the peanut poppies that won her over, she'd never admit it,
(cuts back to the waffle Haus) so there was no point in asking

ROXIE: (speaking fast) I saw the words coming out of her mouth, but I didn't
understand a word, coming out of her head
GEORGE: You got a flat tyre
ROXIE: I heard you. Is one of those mine(takes the post it) Thank you

Transition
At Happy time

(VO) So I brought Crystal a present, a shoe gift wrapped in dog turd (is
wiping it under her desk - cuts to crystal using a pipette) I'd been
bitch-slapped by fate, but does that make me fate's bitch? (both leave the
chairs at the same time so they are left turning)

(The morning crystal sits her desk and smells something strange)

(VO) They say if you mess with the bull, you get the horns (Millie looking
smug- while her light bulb is heating up) but what if the bull hung the
little
cape over there and said red was your colour (and blows, which shocks her) I
could easily replace the light bulb, but the  smell of dog shit under her
desk
was going to  linger, whether it be wrestling with fate or engaging in the
art
of war, (waves a white hankie) sometimes a ceasefire is necessary (crystal
nods. After a long protracted battle, was a finally forging an ally?

Transition to a class room with a picture of a bird on the blackboard

(VO) Maybe fate does always have the last word, maybe fate doesn't want the
last word

TUTOR: The first step in taxidermy is to have your wires measured and cut,
one
of you needs to hold the specimen(joy pulls the wing up) gently pull the
tips
of wings to full extension while your partner, threads the wire between the
bone and the feathers, starting with the scapulars, through the cupboards
and
into the contoured feathers, your feather work and attention to detail is
what
your mount look alive

Transition
Rube's place. Dinner table laid out with two places, with two glasses. Rube
cooking food on a stove and the bell for the elevator rings. Rube quickly
dishes up the food and dashes for the door. A shadow comes up to the door
and puts an envelope underneath the door. He opens the door with the plate
in his hand, but no-one is there

RUBE: (down the hall) down here with mushrooms, northern Italian style,
pinch
of tarragon, light on the oil, touch of vermouth. I use Qua devine. extra
dry.
not that cheap domestic crap (hears the elevator being used) puts his head
down
and goes back into his flat and picks up the envelope) Sits down pours
himself
some wine and toasts himself

END CREDITS